A long time ago, an age in fact, I wrote a post called ‘Top 10 Dirtiest ACDC Songs’. Since then, I have had several blog incarnations and had lost the text. Sad. But Lo, a fortitious email brings word of said long lost post! Seems I was smart enough to submit it to blogcritics. Seeing as how I wrote it, I now place it in its rightful home here on maxpower.

In the interveening years, my appreciation for ACDC has only deepened. They truly rocked SARS stock. So with a new appreciation, I present a redux of the original — Top 10 Dirtiest ACDC Songs.

ACDC is indeed one of the greatest live rock acts to be seen, full stop. You can’t help but smile pump your fist when you hear the chorus of ‘caught with your pants down.’ Recently, I was pondering life, wondering how these guys could be so successful and it hit me! Steps to success: 1) simple blues based hard rock, 2) distortion, 3) schoolboy outfit, and 4) crazy voiced singers. Sheer genius! Its like they are in a rock n’roll band singing about sex, drugs, and rock n’roll… What moxy!

Anyway, I was listening to ACDC and came up with this short list of their best innuendo filled rock numbers. Each song is listed with a small choice lyrical excerpt. For those of you not familiar with ACDC, I’m not making this up. Drumroll please….

» Read the rest of the entry..

These rednecks find a big ass maco shark chewing down on a tarpon. Its an 8 minute video, of which the last minute is the best. All the random redneck sounds are (literally) a hoot.

G’on, Jeremy, POKE HIM! Get’im! Go’on POKE THAT BITCH!

Remember, back in the day, we’d sit on the couch in sunnydale, cooking BBQ and drinking beers before going out for the evening? Besides, shark vs lion, this was one of them: Tiger vs. Croc. Its a movie. And one of them wins.

Atkins didn’t do all his research, its not carbs that are bad — its bread! Don’t wait until this hits the mainstream media, act now. Here is what the man didn’t want you to know, facts about bread:

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

Diabolical!
» Read the rest of the entry..

Do you think Vanilla really glows when the lights are off? » Read the rest of the entry..

Having done the research, I can tell you, the sick and twisted internet visitor, that there is currently no more information to be found anywhere on sphincter bleaching other than that which has already been mentioned. Yes, the catchy title (Hey you, yes you, is your sphincter too brown?), subtle bum jokes, obtuse bottom references… it had it all.

Yesterday, 4 people stopped by maxpower to see the post about sphincter bleaching. Today 50 (so far). Some people even came here looking for ‘bleached sphincter pictures’ and ’sphincter bleaching pictures’, (yes pppoe-41-52.lab.csuchico.edu I’m talking about you, freak).

I have one picture, and this is it. Meet Anna Marsiano, owner and manager of The Bees’ Knees beauty salon, sphincter bleacher extrodinare. For about 73 US, she will “Bikini Sculpture and colour” you, whatever that is (sphincter bleaching?).

Other pictures? Well, the don’t exist, we don’t have any, no one does. Besides, what would you be interested in? Before and after pictures of bleached of the sphinters? Freak.

Checkout this dude I saw walking down the street today. Blue shoes with blue socks. Is this the new style or was he cold?

Vanity can be a powerfull force. Many things have been done in the name of vanity from piercings to various elective surgeries.

As I’m sure you are aware, our dedicated team of researchers here at maxpower are determined to get to the bottom of every subject in every story — and this one is a crack up. Its called, “sphincter bleaching” or, the “new Brazilian wax.” Here is an example of how it works:

…she uses a herbal brand popular in the Philippines as a facial whitener… applied to the dark pigmentation around women’s rectums.

Ok first of all, as far as I know, women only have one rectum (damn near killed em). Secondly WTF? Why do you need a shinny sheriff star? More:

… mainstream demand has risen sharply over the past six months… long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems.

Did they get a cracked ass? (No worse!) Still more:

…the use of harsh bleaching substances could cause anal burning and scarring. This, in turn, could lead to anal incontinence or an inability to pass stools at all.

To be fair (we wouldn’t want to go behind the authors backside on this), the article does point out that:

Critics should not be so quick to write off glamour-seekers as witless victims. Beauty is currency, with studies showing that spunks of both sexes do better in jobs, schools, relationships and the courts. Devoting time and resources to keeping yourself nice could therefore be viewed as a worthwhile investment.

However, I personally can’t think of a situation where having a bleached sphincter will benifit. A) because sphincter’s are usually covered up, and that, B) where sphincter’s are required to be shown does colour really matter?

You can read the oringal source, Getting to the bottom of an unwholesome obsession if you like.

Sadly, after spending countless hours searching I could find no images of actual results (before and after) of sphincter bleaching.