Category: Distractions

Harpers index can be scary, here are a couple items from February:

  • Percentage of children who by age seven have had at least one imaginary friend: 65
  • Percentage of these friends who are animals: 41
  • Estimated number of Florida homeowners who signed contracts last year forbidding them to complain about their homes: 4,000
  • Minimum damages sought by a builder last fall against a homeowner who had broken the rule: $15,000

My conclusion: people in Florida still have imaginary friends who give them bad advice regarding home contractors.

Source: Harper’s Index for February 2005

Have you ever wondered how best to destroy the whole planet? Me neither, but some other people have and they have created a list with instructions (did they have the rage?). After giving it a rough read through I have concluded that in most cases, building something from ikea is easier. For example (slightly edited):

Destroyed by vacuum energy detonation

  • You will need: a light bulb
  • Method: This is a fun one. Contemporary scientific theories tell us that what we may see as vacuum is only vacuum on average, and actually thriving with vast amounts of particles and antiparticles constantly appearing and then annihilating each other. It also suggests that the volume of space enclosed by a light bulb contains enough vacuum energy to boil every ocean in the world. Therefore, vacuum energy could prove to be the most abundant energy source of any kind. Which is where you come in. All you need to do is figure out how to extract this energy and harness it in some kind of power plant - this can easily be done without arousing too much suspicion - then surreptitiously allow the reaction to run out of control. The resulting release of energy would easily be enough to annihilate all of planet Earth and probably the Sun too.
  • Feasibility rating: 5/10. Slightly possible.
  • Earliest feasible completion date: 2060 or so.

More examples can be found at Sam’s Archive if you are interested. Its some good reading but a little light on details for those of us who may be supervillians.

Oever : Well hi Joey.
Murdock : Come on up here, you can see better.
Oever : We have something here for our special visitors ( takes out a model airplane for Joey ), would you like to have it?
Joey : Thank youuuuuuu! Thanks alot!
Oever : Sure. You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey : No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
Oever : You ever . . . seen a grown man naked ?
Murdock : Do you want me to check the weather Clarence?
Oever : No, why don’t you take care of it. Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?
Elaine : We’d better get back now Joey

Link to the full script