Originally written: October 8, 2004

We stayed up until 3am learning Thai from mp3. Basically, we learned how to say, “Do you speak English.” We also learned how to say ‘I speak English”, although we wondered when we would ever need this sentence. Also, when a man speaks he always ends his sentences with the word’Krap’. Its a good way to end sentences, especially when one knows he has screwed up the language.

We awoke early, and had the included breakfast just before 9. Off to the Vietnam embassy to get our Visa’s. With a 2-3 day wait, we decided that we will get them in Chang Mai instead — we don’t want to spend to much more time in Bangkok. From here we found a crappy internet caf� to send out a couple of ‘we aren’t dead emails’. Next a taxi ride to the Grand Palace was in order.

Once in the Taxi, the driver convinced us it would be much better for him to drive us to a water taxi, which would then be faster to get us to our destination. It may have been better for him, but not for us. On arrival at the dock, we were quoted a price on the trip up river of 1500. Hmmm $$$! Luckily, or unluckily, another couple also got dropped off at the dock with a similar story from their Cabby. I negotiated and got the price down to 1600 for the 4 of us to go upriver, about an hours journey. We later found out that 400/ person is the going rate so we didn’t feel to ripped off. The journey itself was cool (temp wise), which was great and also gave us an opportunity to see how some Thai live. Highlights of our boat trip include: -giant gold Buddha -loads of Carp -using our newly acquired mastery over Thai to tell river vendors ‘No’ (my krap) -general pattern of swank hotel followed by rank slum -being out of heat with breeze and quiet… Or at least with only sound of dirty engine.

Upon the end of our journey, we were dropped off at a river boat restaurant which we ignored on principle. Shortly after, we managed to locate the Grand Palace. 200B / person got us inside. See the pictures as it is hard to describe. Gold and shiny everywhere, sculptures of monkey men and ladies. A handpainted wall runs along the inside walls and tells the story of some kind of war over a women (at least in part). It seems the bad guys were evil monkymen type things. While standing and looking at the mural, a tour group came by and the guide said, “This image shows men fighting monkeys. You may take pictures!” I’m glad I wasn’t on that tour of the obvious.

One of the main attractions (the main?) was the emerald Buddha. Set in side a large ornately designed (inside and out) building, this emerald Buddha we could not see. Perhaps he was covered in gold like everything else. The Grand palace also contained the Museum of weaponry, which could also be called the ‘Museum of Sharp Pointy things’ (tridents and spears). In another museum on the grounds, the gifts to Buddha and the various Rama Kings were displayed. In all these museums no photographs were allowed, but you can trust us in that we saw over 500 Buddha’s of varying nature. Heather’s favourite was the “Stop fighting with the relatives” Buddha.

Upon exit from the palace we received some advice from a tout who told us all the other Buddha’s to see (Lucky Buddha — we saw him on our walk to Grand Palace, he carried a big sword) and then said that we must go today because they were closed tomorrow. A well known scam. If we had went with the TukTuk driver as suggested, we probably would have seen how the Jewelry scam works. The one thing about walking around here is that people will come up to us (to Me because I am the man) and offer there advice. Here is a typical conversation: “You want ride, you and you 10 bhat each 20 bhat for hour, very good deal!” “No thanks.” “Where are you going, I take you there.” “My krap” (No.) “Where are you from?” “My krap.” Hopefully by this time we have lost him and its someone else’s turn to try and get us into a Tuk Tuk.

Anyway, back to our day. After leaving the jewelry scam guy, we headed to the pier to catch the public river taxi. This river taxi is faster, cheaper (10 baht each for the same trip) and generally more entertaining. Getting on and off the taxi involves jumping from the boat to the pier in the few seconds that the boat is near the pier. A steady footing is required, and their are uniformed workers there to pull you where you are supposed to go. What is amazing is that the Thai women who wear heels do this with ease (also, heather wants to know how they can walk down the sidewalk so easily when it is always chewed up with broken blocks and trips everywhere!) From what we have seen so far, in Thailand its ’safety second’.

After the water taxi ended, we caught the skytrain to Nana station and walked the 100m back to Suk11. As per our custom, once in the room we immediately stripped and took turns in the shower to clean off the days sweat. Today it was 34C in the sun. Dinner was a red chicken curry (sweet and spicy) and a beef dish which was very good and as heather found out, had a very slow spice buildup. She almost couldn’t take the spice — there was definite panic in her eyes. Those two dishes and some rice with a big bottle of Singha beer cost 285B (7-8 cdn). After dinner back to our room where we passed out by 8:30.

Soon we will have this sleeping thing down, the next day we awoke at 5am. Our goal is to try and stay awake until 10pm today. On deck today is to figure out how to get to Chang Mai, to Ayuttthaya, a cell phone, a good internet caf� and the Goddess Tuptim Shrine (full of phalic symbols) and whatever else comes along.