Ten delicious pieces of wisdom I have learned from experiences (both first and second hand) traveling.

1. Do move your bowels.  Get yourself to a washroom when you have the urge.  Q: What is worse than going to the bathroom in a stinky crap infested hellhole with no TP?  A: Not going to the bathroom for a couple days while your feces turn into concrete that need to be surgically removed.  When you are traveling in a foreign land, nobody knows you, so just make time to move those bowels — even if its while standing over a trough behind someone else doing the same thing.  And if there is no TP, sacrifice some clothing. Think how good you will feel when its all over, and the stories! This tip has nothing to do with writing, but its very important.

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Originally written on November 16, 2004

Got up early and had some breakfast at kims cafe, bacon and eggs and tea with condensed milk for Heather (barf says kirk). We then had another round of organizing finaces for most of Cambodia where they have no atms and getting at your money is trickier. We then purchased bus tickets to Phnom Penh through the travel agent portion of Kim Cafe. Next we took a taxi to jade emporor pagoda. Our driver was friendly and told us about his family, and how his baby has a birthday today. He works hard all day but when he goes home and see his babies he is very happy (he never mentioned the sex of the baby, and communication was difficult). Pagoda highlights include; the hall of many hells which depict all the ways you will be punished for different offences; the giant statues of guys who killed the tiger and dragon; great tiles on the floor; and the really scary scary fans on the ceiling.

Next we took two cyclos to reunification palace which is basically like a more open 60’s university building. It could be on york campus, ugly. Inside pretty nice although very cold in feeling, hot in temperature. Various rooms show how the place operated when the South was in power, things have been left as they where. The bunker was interesting as was all the old radio equipment.

The best part was the propaganda film at the end of the tour, actually the room at the end of the tour where you watch the film. It was air conditioned and set to keep a temp of 30 C, pure heaven compared to the rest of the building.

Next down the street to the war museum, lots of sobering pictures and information. Not over the top commie, but my no means fair. Still, the US did some bad things there, lots of facts about agent orange, and a really great display of press photographers in war zones.

Back to hotel, shower, then off to dinner of chicken in rice paper with lettuce and minty-licorice leafs, cucumber, all wrapped up and dipped into peanut sauce, pork rolls not deep fried, chicken with crispy noodles and vegatables and pineapple, very very good. Afer dinner catch up on internet and back up all photos to mp3. While walking the streets we saw a girl get taken away, the shop owner I was in said the girl was on heroin, looked like it to me.

Later, near the end of our evening, 10:30 or so, Heather was looking at shirts in a stall and my spidey sense went off. I turned around to see a big white guy chasing a small vietnamese guy around a taxi. The big guy was mad, but couldn’t catch the faster smaller guy so they just went around and around the car for 30seconds. Then the white guy sneered and shattered the passenger side door window. The street went quiet.

Then the big guy trotted off, and the small guy pulled out his phone and started diealing while saying, where you go? By the time we went 30m down the street the police had passed us. That dude was going to see some real Vietnam, no idea what it was about. Heather only clued in when the guy started yelling where you go?

But the shop owner and me watched most of it. I asked him what was going on and he says, “I didn’t see anything.” Hmmm I say, “I didn’t see anything either.” He looked and me and smiled patted me on the back knowingly. Off to bed.

Originally written on October 30, 2004

We spent the morning kayaking between the many mountains, passing thru natural arches within a mountain, and seeing grottos and small caves at the water’s surface and 20 feet up in the mountain wall. Lunch was spent on a wooden boat, and kirk took a quick dive and dip off the boat for a cooling swim. In the afternoon we continued kayaking and went to a less visited area. There was a park ranger on his boat which our guide paid for the entrance fee (bribe?). This area was shallow and had many corals, pinks and green, visible from our kayaks. Although many of the coral were brown or silt covered, not sure if this is natural or a result of boat movement causing silt to collect and damage the coral.

Before we entered the first cave/arch way we heard the sound of a baby “kirk” clearing his throat of allergies at midnight at the cottage (but stacatto). We learned from our guide that it was a monkey, who had eaten something bad and was trying to clear its throat. We paused and soon heard and saw trees rustling on the mountain side. After a couple of minutes, we saw a grey monkey and shortly after others appeared. We never saw more than two monkeys at once. We were elated to hear and see wild monkeys and found it difficult to move on. Continuing on through the cave grotto/arch way after about 20 minutes of listening to the monkey call out and the wind in the trees birds etc, it was very peaceful.

The 2nd cave/groto was longer and in the ceiling were mini caves full of the sound of bats. We did not bring our flash light, so we could not know for sure. But who would want to flash bright light, disturbing potentially 100’s of bats. This second cave/archway led to a dead end lagoon of shallow water and more corals and lush vegetation on the steep mountain side. We kayaked back to the entrance of the restricted area and met our boat, which took us on a sunset cruise back to our island home (see the purple sunset picture).

Once back near base, we had to kayak a short way from the boat to the shore, as the water was to shallow for the boat. It was pitch black, and we did not have a flash light, but the moon light and the lights at our island guided our short paddle home. Dinner shortly followed, and then we waxed with our guide about life in Vietnam until it was time for him and the rest of the vietnamese staff to go watch the Miss Vietnam pageant. It was the swimsuit section, not to be missed. The men tourist were invited to join too. An island paradise but with tv. The foreigners continued to chat about their lives back home, our adventures in asia thus far and future plans. Around 11ish it was time for sleeping.

Originally written on October 29, 2004

Getting up at 5am was not fun. We only got to sleep at midnight as we had to pack for the kayaking(we didn’t need to take all our stuff to the island). Heather and I both slept on and off on the two our journey from Hanoi to Haiphong by bus. There we had a vietnamese breakfast of pork noodle soup with a french baguette. Our guide for the next three days introduced himself as Thuy (pronounced ‘tree’, this language is difficult!) and outlined the rest of the day. On our way out of the breakfast shop and in the few seconds between when we got to the street and when the bus doors opened, a lady guiloteened a duck and caught all the blood in a tub. Welcome to vietnam. Once on the bus, Tree explained that in Vietnam ‘We eat everything. No, we eat almost everthing, the Chinese eat everything.’ He also explained that the plates were for ‘fresh blood’ which is for breakfast or dinner. The blood is left on a plate in the sun and then eaten. He said that 80% of Vietnamese people eat ‘fresh blood’ and that he is one of the few who doesn’t like it, but we should try it.

Another very short ride and we caught a 1.5 hour long hydrofoil to Cat Ba Island. Heather slept and I enjoyed the scenery passing by. Haiphong is a giant sea port for Vietnam so at first the area was seedy, but about an hour in we started to get closer to the Halong bay area and things began to look more natural.

We arrived in Cat Ba and got on a small bus that drove us accross to the other side of the island, a 5 minute trip. Next, we got on a small boat and took a 45 minute ride to our final destination, Handspan basecamp (you’d think they’d come up with a better name!). On this boat we were all feeling awake enough to talk, and we all introduced ourselves. On day 1 we had 4 germans, 2 brits, and 6 Canadians. We arrived before lunch with enough time for a nice swim before eating a surprisingly good meal. Our accomodations were simple thatch huts with mosquito netting and a sleeping pad. We chose one in the center of the row of about 8.

After lunch we had about an hour to kill before we began kayaking around Ha Long bay, so we went swimming and read on the beach. It was very quiet. Then before leaving, heather found a green snake in our thatch roof coiled into a ball trying to kill a recently caught gecko. The whole place came and looked at this green snake hanging in our hut. Then the cook came over and sprayed insect repellent on him like when granny ‘raids’ her cottage. That seemed to really piss off the snake and he fell to the floor and released the gecko who amazingly ran like hell. The snake also high tailed it.

In very broken english the cook seemed to ask me if we wanted to move. I suggested that the chances of a snake in any of the huts was about the same, we would be just fine staying. He nodded and said ‘you move’. I asked if it was better if we move. He said, ’safer’. I said, ‘ok’. We weren’t going to argue with the cook about snakes. Our new hut was further down the beach, and also had a newer style roofer where the was a weave of palm fronds before the thatch which would prevent serpents from raining down on us.

We started kayaking at 2 pm. The kayaks were nice and modern with foot levers and a rudder for steering right or left easier. We set off at good pace following our guide twisting through a maze of islands. The islands themselves are vertical cliffs topped with jungle. Very scenic, like a prehistoric muskoka of the tropics. See the pictures for an idea.

We paddled until 5:30 or so winding our way along long exploring the coast line and seeing people fish and scrap shellfish off the rock in tiny backwards row boats. Dinner was also very good consisting of spring rolls, pork and vegatables, fish, tofu, morning glory (or spinich), rice, sugared peanuts (which are quite good) and watermelon. By the time dinner was over it was very dark outside, we were not near any cities. There was a full moon out so star gazing wasn’t that good and since we had been up since 5am on 5 hrs sleep and then kayaked for 3 hours the whole group was zonked. The 10 of us were all in our huts worrying about snakes by about 8pm. Our huts were equiped with a lightbulb and a fan running via a generator off near the kitchen. We slept stiffly but for a long time with only the waves making any noise.

Originally written on October 28, 2004

After getting up early, we walked to Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum to see his mumified body. Too bad he had a previous engagement in Russia. Apparently, about this time ever year he makes a trip over to Russia to see the master technicians who keep him from turning into dust. Still, his place is pretty swank. We watched the changing of the guards (kind of pointles when he’s not there). The changing is supposed to be as good as London’s, however we thought that if you liked seeing a few guys in white ‘march up and down the sqaure’ then this was your thing, otherwise a yawner. Good thing we just happened to be there. We also visited the museum dedicated to his life and writings and the struggle for workers rights, democracy, and a free Vietnam. Full of arts symbolism that is hard to interpret it is perhaps the strangest museum I’ve ever been to. No pictures allowed here. » Read the rest of the entry..

Originally written on October 27, 2004

Nothing doing today. We booked a 3 day kayaking adventure on Halong bay for 158US each (all inclusive save drinks) for Friday. We also purchased needed supplies (flashlight for caves, candy, underwear). Heather had trouble finding things that would fit her GIGANTIC frame. Heather also went to the esthetician to prepare for bathing suit time. For an early dinner we had fried morning glory (spinich) and ‘chicken with 5 tastes’ both of which were very yummy. We didn’t talk much during dinner we were so hungry. Those two dishes with rice and a beer cost under $3.50? CDN (not bad for a touristy place). Now we are catching up on internet activities and planning on hitting some dessert later. Mmmmm….. » Read the rest of the entry..

Originally written on October 26, 2004

After a somewhat restless sleep, to be expected the first night in a new city we began our day. First, free breakfast downstairs. Eggs (scrambled with cheese or onion, fried, french bread, pound cake with cream filling, fresh fruit (orange, pineapple, papaya, miscellaneous!), freshly squeezed fruit juice (taste like mango but has different seeds?), ham, bacon, spring rolls, fried rice, and these awesome crispy donut like pastries.

We ventured onto the street to begin our walking tour (map from hotel). We quickly learned that sidewalks, and the inside of stores are for motorcycles, not pedestrians/shoppers! Crossing the street you do in blind faith. There is next to never a break in the busy traffic, with the exception of other people walking into traffic to also cross the street. We hold hands, look for a slower moving group of motorcyclists, and then enter the intersection. To succeed in crossing the street you must move at regular slow pace, don’t look left or right because you may freak yourself out about how crazy such a simple thing as crossing the street should be. We learned that even small, minor streets can be hazardous. » Read the rest of the entry..

Originally written on October 25, 2004

The bus ride to Vientiane was uneventful, and a little longer than the ride to Vang Viang some 8? days earlier. In Vientiane, we stumbled upon a great buffet in a nice resturant for lunch. All you can eat Lao and sushi food, with chocolate milk too. The place was rammed, so we knew it was the right thing to do. After lunch we went to the Lao History museum.

The museum started out as a history of the ethnicity of the peoples, some dinosaur talk, geology and other typical museum stuff. Then it quickly turned into Communist propaganda and with displays on the workers, Lenin, and various ‘famous’ lao revolutionaries and the fight against the evil forces of the west and the ‘american puppets’ (boo capitalism). When we came out I didn’t know if I should call the guards ‘comrade’ or not. » Read the rest of the entry..